Birthdays

Today is the birthday of my dearest friend. Though I suspect she isn’t all that excited about it, I’m glad that she is here in this life for me to be close to. I believe that we basically feel the same about birthdays but I’m not so sure how deeply she thinks about such things. It seems odd sometimes when you’re with someone that thinks so much like you do. Has the same sort of perspective about life. Has the same sort of likes and dislikes. Is moved emotionally and spiritually by the same kind of things and places that bring that special inner peace and comfort. I’m pretty thankful that we can be together and it makes me happy to know that she is who she is. I’ve got some of my own thoughts about getting older that I’d like to talk about here but in the end, I want her to know that she is first in my thoughts on this day.

I wish that I could say lots of great stuff about birthdays, as an adult. I’m not so sure they mean that much to me anymore though. As I’ve gotten older, they seem to be just another day. Not some occasion to celebrate. I think some people look at them with optimism and see it all as another year of growth, wisdom and even survival. On the other end of the spectrum there is fatalism. One year closer to the ultimate dirt nap that everyone takes eventually. Body is breaking down with weaker eyes, stiffer joints and the realization that youthful vigor is a thing of the past. I suppose that much of how we see life, birthdays or any other day for that matter, depends on how well we have made decisions about our lives in the past. People are so diverse and individualistic that there is no accounting for why someone chooses their steps in the way they do. Most of us really don’t think about the consequences of our actions in day-to-day living. We just do what we feel because it’s seems right at the time. Looking back on my life there were decisions that I made which seemed innocuous at the time but had long-term effects, some good and some not so good. I suppose that’s part of what shapes us into our own unique, individual selves.

One way to see it is that birthdays are like mile markers on the highway. Traveling on life’s journey, those markers reflect the passing years. We become smarter about the trip but understand that the farther we go, the less chance we have to go back and take a different course. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. The open road is before us with all of its potential adventure, anticipation and hope. You never know what’s around the next bend and it could lead to more fulfillment and happiness than you have ever known.

The last few years, on my own birthday, I’ve had the distinct sensation that I’m still here. It’s as if I wake up on that day and realize that I’m still alive and for whatever reason, I still have some earthly purpose. Time is calling me into a continuation of life. The problem I have though, most of the time, is that I don’t know what that purpose is. Once upon a time, I thought I knew but things changed in my life and I had to come to grips with the realization that I was on a different path. Of course, the decisions I’ve made put me on this road but often it feels as if the turn was sudden and abrupt. Like an instantaneous left that changed everything that I thought I knew about life. Dreams that seemed so real and so attainable at one time are like misty memories that are so far in the distance. As time goes by, I’m realizing that there aren’t enough years left to travel that far. Sitting here, writing this, I long for answers about destination and purpose. Honestly, I’m not even sure what the questions are that would frame the answers I seek. I guess I’ve gotten to the point where my understanding about my existence has narrowed a good bit. All I know now is to do the best I can with what’s left. Love one another. Be kind to one another. Be a good steward of the earth and the things you are given. Understand that life isn’t random. There is a time to give and take. A time to stay put and a time to move. Just do the best you can with what you’ve got and hope for the best.

All that being poured forth out of my heart and mind, I’d like to visit my friend’s day again. This is her day and as far as I’m concerned, there is nothing too good for her. She raised a fine young man that is both fair and bright, on her own. If you knew this young man, you would be proud to claim him as yours. Though she possesses a college degree, she never made a lot of money. Somehow, she managed to provide everything they needed and gave that child a safe, secure and comfortable upbringing. There are lots of personal things that make her a truly remarkable woman but you wouldn’t need to hear them if you knew her. I think her daily existence speaks for itself. In the end, I’d just like to say to you dear heart:

Thank you for being there all of the time.
Thank you for listening to me.
Thank you for understanding my, sometimes woeful, existence.
Thank you for the wonderful back rubs.
Thank you for the great lunches that you insist on making for me.
Thank you for the morning coffee.
Thank you for just being who you are and for being my friend.
Love.

Veteran’s Day

This evening after work, I went into a grocery store to buy something. It’s a small, nice place and just feels local when you walk in. The cashiers are all young, school aged girls with nametags that tell you who they are. Complete with hand drawn hearts and smiley faces on them. They’re always friendly, polite and respectful and I appreciate that. As I checked out, I asked the young lady if she goes to church. When she said yes and told me where she goes, I said to her that she could go to any church she wanted to. I mentioned that she could choose any denomination or faith she wanted without any real retribution or recrimination from anyone that mattered. She looked puzzled and I told her that she could thank a Veteran for that freedom. I honestly don’t think she really understood that. What a shame that many of our young people (and older people for that matter) can’t really appreciate what it means to live in an open and free society. That the very freedoms they take for granted were bought with a price. Men and women throughout our nation’s history have sacrificed their own personal freedom, their psychological well being and their lives for their fellow countrymen. How can anyone not be grateful and thankful that there are those who would do such a thing for them? I believe that this too is grace.

Some questions I’d like to ask are:

Like English as your primary language?
Like the church of your choice?
Like the right to vote?
Like to know that crooked politicians can be held accountable for their actions?
Like the freedom speech?
Like to just get in your car and drive wherever you please, when you please?
Like to decide whether you're gonna work a particular job or not?
Like being able to live wherever you want?
Like the freedom to own a gun?
Like the freedom to have as many kids as you want?
Like having ultimate say in where or how your children will be educated?

I suspect you can come up with a few other freedoms, that are so easily taken for granted, if you think about it.

The odd thing about most vets is that they don’t exalt themselves. They’re not braggarts. They served their country selflessly and didn’t ask for anything in return. Things like Honor, Duty, Commitment and the understanding that someone had to do it are enough for them. These people are quiet heroes and they deserve our respect and admiration. If you know someone that has served this great nation in that capacity, please tell them you appreciate it. Thank them for their sacrifice and service.

Freedom. What a great thing this is. Be thankful for it.
Thank a Veteran for it.

Working for a Living

I’ve got a pretty good job and I like what I do for the most part. I’m thankful that it’s a part of my life and that it takes care of my needs. I guess that when it really comes down to it, I’m just doing time on earth and need to be gainfully employed at something but it’s more than that. When my day begins, the boss gives us a little pep talk; I get in my company provided vehicle and head out, giving service to those who need it. There is a lot of inherent trust on the companies part to just turn me loose and not be concerned that I’ll do the best I can for them. I like that and I try to give them 100% everyday. There is a certain amount of freedom in the fact that there is no one looking over my shoulder. I’m not being micro managed. I’ve been trained and given all the tools I need to complete my daily tasks. It’s really a pretty great job.

I like people and during my day, I’m always meeting someone new. The interesting thing is that there’s so much variety in the individuals that make up my customers. I’ve laughed with some. Shared stories of life with some. Prayed with some. Though there is the occasional crank, most folks are glad to see me when I show up. I’ve had some of my customers try to feed me, asked me to come back as a friend, even asked me out on a date once or twice. Though the technical aspects of my job are interesting and sometimes challenging, it’s the freedom of going place to place unsupervised and the interaction with others that make it most worthwhile.

That all being said, I wonder sometimes what daily living might be like if I didn’t require a job to survive. What would I do if the need for financial resources were already met? What if I had the freedom to do what I wanted with each day? I think most people understand that work is a good thing and that all of us need to be doing something productive. Why can’t it be in the pursuit of things we love? Like I said, I like my job but in all honesty I’m not in love with it.

There are lots of things that interest me. Natural resources, people in need, caring for the elderly, woodcraft, food and art to name a few. What it must be like to have the financial resources to contribute to worthy things, helping others and our planet. Living life from a philanthropic perspective. For me, helping the park service maintain hiking trails would be a wonderful thing. Volunteering clean up help on spoiled shorelines, saving whales, visiting old people and listening to the stories they have to tell, lending a hand in a soup kitchen, contributing what skills I have with Habitat for Humanity. These things are all work too. Yes?

I’ve always loved woodwork. Most of the things I’ve done though have come about because of a need, my own personal requirements or those of others. It would be great to have the freedom to create some beautiful or functional thing just because you wanted to see the fruits of your own hands labor. Having the time to learn and grow at some craft that gives you pleasure and possibly brings joy to another person. Just the idea of helping a child see that there is more to life than video games and the internet. Helping to open young eyes and minds to the possibility that they can have vision and purpose outside the limitations of the high tech world we live in today. That life need not be lived at breakneck speed. That there is peace and comfort in doing simple things that bring joy to themselves and to the world.

I suppose that some of these designs can still be accomplished while working the 9 to 5 life that most of us are in. It’s time that limits me mostly, that and money. More accurately, the absence of those things. Though I like my job and am thankful for it, I wish that I had the freedom to pursue things that might do some real good. There are many aspects of our lives that are truly blessings and that alone is much to be thankful for. I just sometimes see the world today with all of it’s armed conflicts, politics, starvation, homelessness, orphans, divorce, drugs, gangs, social disfunction; you name it and wonder what it could be like in my little corner had I the resources to make a difference. Wouldn’t it be just beautiful if you could start helping by having the time and finances to expand your mind and encourage just a little oasis of peace and joy?